Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Only by the Grace of the Holy Mother | serene artist


Only By the Grace


Only by the Grace of the Holy Mother


Dear Mother Mary,

I am desperate, and willing

to beg and plead and negotiate

with promises I probably won’t be able to keep.


I would love to write a poem “Only by the Grace of the Holy Mother”

about the miraculous healing-event-extrication.


I guess what I’m saying is, I won’t write it

unless you give me the miracle I’m asking for.


That sounds quite terrible of me, doesn’t it.

Very childish. Well, so be it. I am your child,

and I’m worn out by years of disappointment,

of hope and dashed hope.

I don’t know how many more knockdowns I can take.

Maybe this is the last one.

Or maybe there are hundreds more.


It’s not like I’m living the high life.

Most days, I dwell in the small village

of my home and my imagination

with a small and humble footprint, if any at all.

In setbacks like this one, I feel that footprint

vanishing.


I can see I’m getting nowhere with you.


What’s this? A falling leaf?

You want me to follow this leaf to the ground?

To be surprised when it lands at my very feet?

To make a leaf rubbing with the pencil and paper

I just happen to have?


OK, I’ll make the leaf rubbing.


There. I made it.


Looks like that’s the miracle.


And that this is the poem I wanted to write,

Only by the Grace of the Holy Mother.


Better to write this poem

from a beaten down place

than from one of exhilaration.

Better to write from a place of want

than a place of luxury.

Better to write from despair than glee.


What could be more of a miracle

than to say with surrender and peace

that the Holy Mother sent me a leaf

and it changed my day?





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